How to build confidence

June 02 2018

Confidence can be a deal breaker. Take two individuals, one with above-average talent and little confidence and the other with little talent and above-average confidence, and the confident person will most likely come out ahead. The difference between the two is that the confident person has practiced.

Very few people are born confident; confidence stems from an individual’s ability to place themselves in new and uncomfortable experiences while simultaneously managing anxiety and stress. Everyone has a critical voice, yet confident people have learned how to quiet that voice, or at the very least, push through moments of doubt and uncertainty.

The good news for those who don’t feel up to par in the confidence department? Confidence is a muscle. It can be worked and strengthened and developed over time. Here are 6 tips to get started.

1. Imagine a confident person.

Who do you know who exudes confidence? Someone who connects easily with others and the world around them. What would they do if they were placed in your same situation?

Pretend you are that person, even just for a moment.

2. Become your own cheerleader.

Write affirmations on sticky notes and place them throughout your house, in your kitchen, in your car. Set calendar reminders with motivational quotes. Listen to uplifting music. Fill your mind with positive thoughts and build an atmosphere that encourages creativity and hope.

3. Scare yourself. 

Intentionally place yourself in uncomfortable or new situations. Regularly. Whether you’re afraid of rejection or failing or being laughed at, push yourself into challenging territories. Each time you successfully navigate a new experience, your belief in yourself and your abilities will increase.

4. Make a “Did-It” list.

Instead of listing all of the things you need to do, take time to reflect on what you have accomplished. Even if you have fallen short on your goals, congratulate yourself for trying. It can be helpful to write lists of past accomplishments. Take stock of what you’re proud of and remind yourself of your capabilities.

5. Practice care.

Take care of yourself: Body, mind, and spirit. Eat foods rich in nutrients. Move, walk, run, lift things. Meditate or practice yoga. Dress in clothes that make you feel good. And take care of others. Volunteer. Teach a class. Caring for your self and others improves self-efficacy, your belief in yourself and your ability to create change.

6. Learn to say no.

Say no to people who aren’t good for you. Say no to obligations that suck your time. Say no to habits that aren’t helping you reach your goals. Say no to negative thoughts.

Remember that you are valuable. You deserve the best. You are worthy.

What are your confidence-boosting tips? Tweet me to share your secrets.