You can say “No.”

November 21 2017

And when you do, you open up space in your life for more: More of what you want. More of what gets you closer to your goals. More of what serves you.

“No” is necessary.

Saying “No” forces to you to confront the parts of you that crave acceptance. The pieces that yearn to be liked and to please.

Your “No” might start an argument. You…

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Communication breakdowns

October 29 2017

Lines have been crossed. There is an argument, a heated misunderstanding. A partner feels neglected, a potential client goes elsewhere for work. Feelings are hurt.

What do you do?

You have choices.

A. Walk away.

Ignore it. Move on to other tasks and focus your attention elsewhere.

B. Work it out.

Pause to listen and understand the problem. Identify and evaluate the root of the disagreement. Establish a platform for all parties to express ideas, input,…

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Two communication channels

September 28 2017

Communication is a cornerstone of healthy, successful relationships. Your ability to communicate affects all aspects of your life: your workplace, at home, in personal relationships, even your vacation.

We can define communication in one of two categories, open or closed channels.

Open channels:

Are clear and direct
Leave less room for misinterpretation and confusion
Question-centric
Neutral
Energy flows freely
Creativity is encouraged

Closed channels:

Can be vague and dismissive
Result in assumptions and over-analysis
Statement…

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To fall in love, do this:

April 10 2017

A few years ago, a NYTimes piece lured readers with the secret to relational bliss. The author detailed her personal experience based on psychological research claiming to make two strangers fall in love. By asking intimate questions and demanding two individuals spend quality time together — even holding each other’s gaze for four minutes — the pair were believed to cement a relationship.

Of course, relationships take…

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The two most important words you can say today

November 25 2016

Praise good work, hard work, reliable work, consistency and creativity — all of the things you’d like to see more of.

Compliment someone’s effort and acknowledge how they are making the world a better place.

Thank a friend, a colleague, a partner, a parent for the contributions they make.

And don’t hesitate to ask for the praise you need, either.

Dr. Laura Trice recommends you say these…

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Asking is an exercise in humility

July 15 2016

Asking for help isn’t easy. Asking for money, for guidance, for a ride, for a raise. When we ask for something, we’re admitting there’s a gap, something we don’t have.  “Hey, I don’t have this thing that I really need. Do you?” We lack resources or knowledge or ability, but the person on the receiving end of the question has it. This dynamic can make us feel vulnerable and weak.

Needing help doesn’t indicate flaws. In fact, asking for…

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Keeping the flame alive

June 02 2016

A student saw KEEP THE FLAME ALIVE on a movie poster and asked me, “What is flame and why does it need to be alive?” The movie was about a married couple inviting a stranger into their home to try to spice up their fizzling love life.

I described fire, from the moment you flick a match until the last wisps of smoke float away. “You know how happy you are when you get a new shirt?”…

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If you’re in a funk (31 ways to destroy a bad mood)

May 12 2016
  1. Go sit in a different room.
  2. Take 5 minutes to be quiet and still (turn off your phone, set an alarm if you must).
  3. Walk outside.
  4. Search for your favorite artist’s playlist on youtube.
  5. Invest in an essential oil you love. Two drops can do wonders.
  6. Write a list of 5 things you are thankful for in this moment.
  7. Treat yourself (massage, cupcake, small gift).
  8. Make…
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“You’re not married?”

February 18 2016

“Not married! You don’t want kids?” I often receive questions regarding my relationship status. My answer, it seems, disappoints/confuses many, as if some defect on my part has rendered me less valuable or ambitious.

A little under three years ago, I came to a developing country, alone, where I have volunteered as a social worker and teacher. I established an education center, built a solar…

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Can questions foster closeness?

January 27 2016

I believe they do.

This is why all of Project Exponential’s signature dinners use questions to bring attendees together.

It’s scary to reveal parts of ourselves to others, but in order to nuture relationships and develop closeness in both personal and professional networks, we must establish rapport, build trust and pave the way for future communication.

The questions listed in a recent NY Times article parallel some of…

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