Project Exponential

Category: Connection

  • The art of community

    Community doesn’t just happen. It takes time and effort and care.

    Amidst routine and packed schedules, relationships deserve a sacred setting. You can’t deny the electricity that encompasses a group breaking bread. It’s an act that has held magic and mystery for centuries.

    Whether the dining table, the running track, the book club, or the coffee group, find your place for sharing and storytelling. The more authentic you can be, the more comfortable your cohort will feel.

    Build a bedrock for meaningful conversation and lasting relationships, a canvas for discussion and deliberation. Look to encourage that spark, that contagious flame that sets ideas ablaze. Serendipity sometimes needs a little push.

    Turn connection into art.

     

  • Connect today

    Pick up the phone and ask someone to meet you for lunch. Invite someone you’d like to learn from, someone you could get to know a little better. Choose four questions to bring along with you:

    • What advice would you have given yourself five years ago?
    • Favorite aspect of your work?
    • Most challenging part of your job?
    • You can pick one person to have coffee with. Who would it be?
    • Where do you go for inspiration?
    • What do you do to recharge?
    • Last meaningful book you read?
    • If you had an extra hour each day, how would you spend it?
    • If you were gifted one million dollars, what would you do?

    Tomorrow, send a thank you email with two things you learned.

  • The power of weakness

    In moments of confusion, doubt, insecurity and despair, we feel least like connecting. It becomes tempting to create distance, sit in the corner, and focus inward when feeling less than. We convince ourselves that failures and struggles are better left unspoken.

    Yet these moments often proceed sparks of brilliance and unstoppable action.

    Too often we rob ourselves of the full spectrum of human connection. An empathic word or kind touch can help us identify the right direction and move closer towards greatness. Genuine communication has the ability to convert despair into hope.

    Challenge yourself to trade feelings of unworthiness for opportunities to authentically connect. Embrace moments of weakness and maximize every facet of the human experience. Hiding seldom heals.

  • The magic of introductions

    If you’ve been the recipient of a polished introduction, you’ve probably failed to recognize its subtle magic. An introduction is a moment of alchemy; part ceremonious, part craft, part prologue. It’s quick, seemingly effortless, and gracefully leads you into an engaging discussion. In the blink of an eye, you’re feeling confident, interesting, interested, and at ease.

    A savvy intro builds a bridge between two strangers and shows them a path worth exploring. Most people know how to introduce. Few people know how to turn an introduction into magic.

    Improve your next introduction with these tips:

    Know who you are connecting and why. Your familiarity with both parties gives you the upper hand. Use this knowledge to help strangers find common ground. Add flavor and insert facts that raise eyebrows. It’s difficult to remember names, but providing a memorable story or colorful detail creates a current for conversation to sail upon.

    Most people have a gaggle of items running through their mind at any given moment. Your introduction should make it easier for two strangers to engage, not more difficult. Be explicit, direct, and clearly state the intention behind your introduction.

    Build a platform. Your introduction sets the tone for conversation to follow. Help those who are meeting each other for the first time enter a comfortable, balanced space. By speaking confidently, clearly, and warmly, you’ll create an environment that’s prime for establishing rapport.

    Exit gracefully. Sometimes an introduction is so fantastically successful, you’re doing a disservice by sticking around. Other times, two individuals might struggle to get conversation off the ground. Tune into what’s needed for genuine connection — and know when to leave.

  • Turn small talk into real talk

    Ask.

    Bring thoughtful, open-ended questions to the table. Your prompts can help shape the conversation at hand. If your delivery is honest and curious, you’ll be met with an equally forthright response.

    Be patient.

    It’s common to feel nervous, get antsy, want to head for the door or look for a new group. The juice comes after the squeeze. Stay where you are. Be present. You don’t need to work the room. A handful of intimate conversations may be more valuable than a dozen superficial pleasantries.

    Get vulnerable.

    Approach topics that may feel “too close for comfort.” Reveal parts of yourself. Talk passion. Divulging unknown talents and interests will encourage others to do the same.

    Tailor your environment.

    Your setting can impact your chatter. In a crowded room? Pull a stranger outside or find a quiet corner. Use elements of your setting to feel comfortable and at ease. Find the space that works for you.

    Relax.

    If you notice you’re fidgety, have a seat and relax. Smile. You don’t need to force anything. Be genuine. Be you. You’ll attract deeper conversations when you’re feeling settled and grounded.

    Lead by example.

    Set the pace for where the conversation will head. Answer questions with compelling details instead of generic responses. Talk about things that matter. The people who aren’t interested will leave. That’s OK.

  • A free program

    If you’ve felt it, you know magic happens when the right people enter a space.

    Sometimes it’s serendipity; most of the time there’s a driving force.

    I want to encourage you to take part in what Seth Godin has dubbed the Connection Economy — to use your most meaningful relationships to inspire you to create art, contribute to your community, and nourish the connections in your own life.

    Deepen the connections in your world and start conversations that matter.

    I’m thrilled by the prospect of sharing my passion and work. The capacity for what can happen when the right people come together is unlimited and largely untapped. Call this six-week program whatever you want: a book club, a group, an experiment, an adventure.

    There are people in your world who need to meet.

    Your efforts to organize this program may change someone’s life, but it’s up to you to make it happen. There are people out there who are stuck (as you may have discovered, paths are rarely straight and laid out). Be present and challenge each other with kindness and care.

    We all have something unique to share. Let’s help each other do the tough work.

    Questions? Successes? Let me know how it goes.

    Step 1. Form a group.

    Sure, you can do this alone. But a group offers support, accountability, and the ability to help you up your game. You want people who can call you out, people who can serve as your cohort and personal network as you advance your ideas forward. Your group is your sounding board, letting you know when you’re on track and gently nudging you when you’re off.

    It doesn’t matter how many are in your group; it could be one other person or four. Call up a few friends and send out emails, “Will you try something new with me?”

    Step 2. Time and place.

    Face time can’t be substituted. Choose one location and meet consistently, each week. Settle on the details and commit. Six weeks. No excuses.

    Respect everyone’s time. Everyone is busy. Make each other a priority.

    Step 3. Finalize your reading list.

    I’ve listed several books for you to use as a starting block. Recommended, but by no means required. If you have a book that has been especially influential to you, use that one instead.

    Sample book list:
    Linchpin
    Poke the Box workbook
    Superconnect
    Business Model Generation
    E Myth Revisited
    4 Hour Work Week
    Creatively Independent
    Make Your Idea Matter
    Host an unforgettable dinner party

    Step 4: Homework (Projects & Exercises):

    The activities suggested are designed to get you out of your comfort zone, inspire you, and reinforce what you’re reading. If you feel inclined to add your own twist, please do.

    Most importantly, set aside time to make writing a priority. I’ve listed a few prompts to encourage you and provide creative direction. Again, use what is helpful and improve what isn’t. Not everything will work for everyone.

    Week 1

    Reading: Bernadette Jiwa’s Make Your Idea Matter
    Project: Go find a journal that inspires you. Buy it from that indie book store you’ve always wanted to check out, look for something inspiring while you’re waiting in line, make it yourself.
    Writing exercise: Set your alarm for ten minutes. Choose one:

    • Imagine your dream life. Envision everything it entails. Now write. It doesn’t need to be complete sentences or thoughts, words are fine.
    • Ask questions. Write them down, every question you can think of. They don’t need to make sense. You don’t need to have the answers. Tangential is fine. Just ask.

    Discuss: What is the difference between dreaming and storytelling? Do you set aside time to create and dream? What stories do you tell yourself? To others?

    Week 2

    Reading: Tim Ferriss’ 4 Hour Work Week
    Project: Do something new this week. Cook dinner with veggies from the local market. Sign up for a class. Explore a new neighborhood. Get lost in a library.
    Writing exercise: If you could do anything, anywhere, what would it be?

    Discuss: How do you define work/life balance? Is a distinction necessary?

    Week 3

    Reading: Seth Godin’s Poke the Box workbook
    Project: Print out the workbook. Plan thirty minutes of uninterrupted time to complete.
    Writing exercise: Notice any areas of hesitation while you’re completing the workbook. Is there a particular topic that seems more challenging than others?

    Discuss: What obstacles stop you from shipping? How are you getting in your own way?

    Week 4

    Reading: Project Exponential’s Host an unforgettable dinner party
    Project: Schedule a lunch date or host a dinner party.
    Writing exercise: Set your alarm for ten minutes. Choose one:

    • What are the traits you most admire in others?  What are the traits you’re most proud of?
    • Assemble an imaginary Dream Team. You get five players. Who do you choose? What skills do they offer?

    Discuss: Talk about how teams are formed and what kind of environments contribute to their growth. What kind of people belong on your Dream Team? Who inspires you?

    Week 5

    Reading: Jess Pillmores’s Creatively Independent
    Project: Challenge yourself to write the first draft of your very own ebook.
    Writing exercise: Consider the uniqueness that you, and only you, bring to your work, your relationships, your family. What separates you from competition? What is that one trait that singles you out?

    Discuss: How do you stay inspired while working on a big [exhausting] project? What tricks and techniques have you found to be most helpful when setting big goals?

    Week 6

    Reading: E Myth Revisited and/or Business Model Generation
    Project: Brainstorm how you might turn $10 into $100.
    Writing exercise: Write out a sample business plan. What would you do if you had no excuses, no responsibilities? Journey back to the days of mowing lawns, selling lemonade, babysitting. What would change if today was your last day at your current job?

    Discuss: Would things be different if you consistently set aside time to write, dream, explore, learn?