Project Exponential

Month: March 2013

  • You belong in this room.

    Don’t sell yourself short. You aren’t to be ordered about. You are here as a professional. Everyone else is as uncertain as you are. They may even be more afraid. Yet they’ve made the decision to not let any of this get in their way. They’ve made the choice to show up and be present, regardless of insecurity and fear.

    You have a choice to make. The first few times might be a show. You may have to talk yourself into it. Once you’re there, you may whisper hurtful names to yourself — pretender, phony, fake. Ignore that voice. Slowly, gradually, that whisper will fade and be replaced with an unmistakeable assertion. A knowing, a conviction, a sense of belonging that will lead you to places you had never before considered. Tolerate discomfort.

    The journey often starts with a moment of anxiety, terror, self doubt, even despair. It’s temporary. In time, you’ll look back and see how far you’ve come. The decision to put yourself in the game will become easier, and the unknown will appear less of a threat. Accept the invitation.

    Claim your space. Believe that you can hold your own. Ask questions that can’t be avoided. Demonstrate why you must be reckoned with. You must show up.

    If you’re not in the room, we can’t listen, we can’t watch your magic, and you won’t get any better. Tell us — show us — why should we stop here, with you, and not continue on.

  • The magic of introductions

    If you’ve been the recipient of a polished introduction, you’ve probably failed to recognize its subtle magic. An introduction is a moment of alchemy; part ceremonious, part craft, part prologue. It’s quick, seemingly effortless, and gracefully leads you into an engaging discussion. In the blink of an eye, you’re feeling confident, interesting, interested, and at ease.

    A savvy intro builds a bridge between two strangers and shows them a path worth exploring. Most people know how to introduce. Few people know how to turn an introduction into magic.

    Improve your next introduction with these tips:

    Know who you are connecting and why. Your familiarity with both parties gives you the upper hand. Use this knowledge to help strangers find common ground. Add flavor and insert facts that raise eyebrows. It’s difficult to remember names, but providing a memorable story or colorful detail creates a current for conversation to sail upon.

    Most people have a gaggle of items running through their mind at any given moment. Your introduction should make it easier for two strangers to engage, not more difficult. Be explicit, direct, and clearly state the intention behind your introduction.

    Build a platform. Your introduction sets the tone for conversation to follow. Help those who are meeting each other for the first time enter a comfortable, balanced space. By speaking confidently, clearly, and warmly, you’ll create an environment that’s prime for establishing rapport.

    Exit gracefully. Sometimes an introduction is so fantastically successful, you’re doing a disservice by sticking around. Other times, two individuals might struggle to get conversation off the ground. Tune into what’s needed for genuine connection — and know when to leave.

  • Turn small talk into real talk

    Ask.

    Bring thoughtful, open-ended questions to the table. Your prompts can help shape the conversation at hand. If your delivery is honest and curious, you’ll be met with an equally forthright response.

    Be patient.

    It’s common to feel nervous, get antsy, want to head for the door or look for a new group. The juice comes after the squeeze. Stay where you are. Be present. You don’t need to work the room. A handful of intimate conversations may be more valuable than a dozen superficial pleasantries.

    Get vulnerable.

    Approach topics that may feel “too close for comfort.” Reveal parts of yourself. Talk passion. Divulging unknown talents and interests will encourage others to do the same.

    Tailor your environment.

    Your setting can impact your chatter. In a crowded room? Pull a stranger outside or find a quiet corner. Use elements of your setting to feel comfortable and at ease. Find the space that works for you.

    Relax.

    If you notice you’re fidgety, have a seat and relax. Smile. You don’t need to force anything. Be genuine. Be you. You’ll attract deeper conversations when you’re feeling settled and grounded.

    Lead by example.

    Set the pace for where the conversation will head. Answer questions with compelling details instead of generic responses. Talk about things that matter. The people who aren’t interested will leave. That’s OK.

  • New and different

    Different experiences are necessary for growth. Without adventure, how can you see the world in a new way?

    You’re not expected to like everything. The important thing is that you do, acquire more information, and grow.

    Have you placed yourself in a new situation recently?

  • Lead by example

    Whether a small business or large corporation, the head must act in a forthright, admirable way for the chain of command to follow suit. Same applies to smaller groups of people: the leader sets the tone for what is acceptable and what is not, setting the pace for others to follow.

    By pushing yourself to be the very best you can be, you inspire those around you, build trust within your team, and encourage others to lead principled lives.

    Great leadership shouldn’t be difficult to come by. Neither should integrity.

  • Assemble your Dream Team

    The company you keep can be a single-handed propelling force in your life. With the right team of people by your side, you can maximize your potential and surpass both professional and personal goals.

    Assemble your own Dream Team by looking for these key players:

    The Mentor – Someone who’s been there. This is a person you respect and admire. They remind you to look at the big picture. You see their life and think “That’s what I want.”

    An Advisee – A person you can mentor. They are eager to learn from you and respect your work. Your willingness to teach them and spend time with them affirms your own knowledge and skills, even reminding you where you’ve come from and the lessons you’ve learned along the way.

    Your Advocate – No matter what circumstance you find yourself in, you need someone who fights for you and honors what you stand for.

    An Equal – A colleague or friend who is in your same boat. You challenge each other to become the best you can possibly be. Compare notes, support each other, get competitive when it’s beneficial.

    A Neutral – Someone with no direct investment in your life or work. This is a person who can provide an outside perspective when needed.

    The Wildcard – The Wildcard is just that — wild. This person is in an industry completely different than yours. They keep you on your toes and expose you to new experiences and people. Things are never boring when they are around.

    Supporting Stars: You need at least one or two people who can support your work and help you prioritize the bigger picture. These are folks you feel comfortable delegating work to, individuals you trust when you need to head out of town.

    Common traits found in each key player:

    • passion
    • vulnerability
    • inspiration
    • communication skills
    • curiosity and wonder
    • sense of adventure
    • excitement
    • joy
    • authenticity
    • trustworthiness

    The people surrounding you can make the difference between pushing beyond your limits and settling for less. Find those who push you.